My Resume

writer of contemporary short fiction
writer of poetry
writer of prose poetry, but i called it poetry

data entry specialist for Mob bookie

weed puller
cleaner of large diesel machinery parts
model
(hey! i know what you're thinking. clothes *on.*)
musician
event coordinator

astrologer
horoscope writer for a teen fashion magazine. "Hey Gemini! This month's full moon in Cancer finds you wearing mysterious, sheer skirts with skin-baring halters. Yow! Dye your hair brown for that extra je ne sais quois as Saturn enters your sign."

writer of "cyber" things
writer of art & music articles
writer of a faux diary of a fictional teenaged character from a New Line Cinema movie

raiser of organic cattle for purposes of slaughter & consumption
market researcher for shiitake mushroom farm
mushroom innoculator for shiitake mushroom farm

writer of fluffy bridal magazine articles
writer of sad personal essays
writer of snarky, fun personal essays
writer of corporate whore marketing materials

writer of a book
writer of blogs and website blather
Senior Writer for an agency in New York City

church pianist
tea party thrower
performance artiste
slash hauler
deck painter

editor of many of the above and books & magazines & websites

humanities adjunct faculty
movement workshop leader
Tarot reader
technical & customer support pern
guest lecturer in arts & writing
transcriptionist of someone's science fiction novel

creative director of african internet non-profit startup
market researcher/annoying phone caller for radio stations
general worker bee for organic vegetable farm
consultant to small businesspeople
maker of risky advertising campaigns that, blissfully, really worked, for small business

artist

rental house manager
seller of water pipes, imported cigarettes, and Nepalese statues
assistant to grammy-winning producer & songwriter
travel writer
office manager for attorney
goth-industrial club door worker
songwriter